In a movie, something has to happen

Right now I am watching "Lost" season 1 episode 4 "Walkabout". I've seen it a bunch so I don't really need to watch it to know what's going on. Right now they are just about to discover wild boars in the plane eating the dead bodies.

And there they go. Now Locke shows everyone his knives.

Anyway, that's not what I wanted to talk about. I wanted to talk about this movie I watched today. It's called "Paranormal Activity" and it's stupid.

It's about this girl who has been haunted by a demon or something ever since she was a little girl. She is living with her boyfriend who is a full fledged douche bag.

The douche bag buys a very nice video camera in order to film the scary stuff that is happening to his girlfriend, scary things as in strange bumps in the night.

He wants to film strange bumps... a bump is a sound by the way. He want's to film sound.

Anyway, that's pretty much it. Nothing happens. I was watching it with Beth (my wife by the way) and she'd seen it before. I kept asking her if something was going to happen, and she kept saying no.

"So... is she going to, like, start to bleed?"

"No."

"Does she float above the bed?"

"No."

"Is she suppose to be possessed?"

"Yeah."

"She's just standing there."

"Yeah. It's subtle."

.....

.....

.....

"She just went to sleep again. She was possessed by a demon, stood up for a while, then went back to bed."

"Nothing really happens until the last few seconds of the movie."

....

"Can we just fast-forward it to that part then?"

"No."

The whole time the guy wants to use a Ouija Board to talk to the demon, but the girlfriend is dead set against it. So the guy goes ahead and uses a Ouija board.

The real demon in the movie is an unhealthy relationship.

I understand that, of late, horror movies have become stupid torture porn. With cinematic tripe like "Hostel" and "Saw" and "Saw II" and "Saw III" and "Saw IV: Even Saw-ier" I really could use a horror movie that is more subtle and scary at the same time. I don't need to see a kidney or a coil of intestine in order to be scared.

That said. Something needs to happen in the movie. You just can't show two people talk about nothing for an hour and a half, then throw in a few seconds of jumpy bits and call it a movie.

The whole thing only cost something like $45.98 or something, and it shows. On one hand I appreciate the whole independent film vibe, and it's obvious when a good idea for a movie gets ruined by too many people trying to make it into something it's not *coughxmencough* but this could have used some more input. Like from a writer or a director or something.

Anyway, don't watch it. It sucks. It's bad. It's stupid.

It's better than Avatar though... so if it's a choice between Avatar and Paranormal Activity... you really need to reevaluate your life.